Does it seem strange to you that the lady checking your groceries at the supermarket always says, "oh, I'm alright," or "I'm fine," when questioned on the subject? And at some stores, (I've noticed this particularly at BIG K), an exit phrase is used as some sort of marketing ploy or something.

Thank you for shopping BIG K.

No bells. No whistles. Just simple words meant to build a certain level of comfort and security at their store.

So, with this knowledge, or this particular view on the subject, it is hard to imagine that these people are actually happy or anything more then sedated, for that matter. I suppose they could be.

But they don't seem like it.

So heres the deal with me and having bad days. I get them all the time and they come without warning. Most of the time I can keep my mental shields aware, and breeze through the day without too much of a problem. But sometimes it's just bad. Like there is this cloud above my head or something. A dark cloud. On those days it's like nothing is right, I have failed everyone, and soon the world is going to end. Yea. That bad. Anyways. I don't know why I told you this.

can my day get any more horrible. go away

I can feel it stronger now. Soon my head will collapse and little sparkles will rocket from the black hole that remains. I know it. I know it because I can feel it. It's like that tingling in your foot when you cross your legs just wrong. Or that feeling in your buttocks when you have sat for too long. That feeling. And I don't like it at all.

I wish I was a song, as pretentious as that is. A great song doesn't wonder about anything, about purpose or meaning or politics. It's all just a given. They are well rounded and independent and striking.

but anyways, yea.

i just want everyone to go away today.

oh and i got two parking tickets. both from the same parking spot, on different days of course. thats excellent. im so happy about that.

what did you say?

oh, nothing.

you said something about religion and the antichrist and buddah. i heard enough to know.

forget about it.

i want to know what you said. i have heard it a million times, don't you know it. ive seen you guys on the street corners with flyers and guitars. singing and clapping and things of that nature. you said something about a god. i think. i know there was a G and a D in the word. i suppose that another vowel could have been substituted for the O, the O in GOD, making it another word. GUD, for example. You could have been raving about a GUD. remember what we are talking about? Yes. Good. Well, what do you have to say?

Oh my gosh. I think your head is about to explode.

You know, people are strange.

It never ceases to amaze me how much I do not know about my peers, and my fellow human beings. Just when I think I've got it all figured out, that I know how this puzzle of odd emotions connects the entire world in to a giant living organism, I find out that there are a million and one things I still don't know.

And you know. I hear talk all the time. Most of it is the same old jabber that mainly constitutes NOTHING, only a slightly expanded ego. These modern "philosopher" and "sociologist" wannabes sit around and discuss the characteristics of there peers. They break them down, label them, classify them, judge them, and weed them out. They fine tune there skills of detecting the problems in people, who's reflection is in there presence.

Wait. That doesn't make sense. Who are you and what are you doing here?

When I was younger, say around seven or so, I used to do silly things.

I used to take a plain piece of wire, remove the plastic wrapping on either end, and with the help of scotch tape I would use this wire to connect the opposite sides of a battery. I wanted to blow things up. Usually AA batteries were used because nine volts are just too hard to come by for a seven year old. The wire is readily available from the garage or easily torn from the back of some sort of modern electronics equipment.

My home made bomb never worked. Mind you.

I would lay the charged bomb in the middle of the street. I would then hide in the bushes. My goal was not for the potential explosives to detonate upon being struck by vehicle tires, but for it to sit there, quietly, exploding randomly.

I wanted it to blow up when a car was by it because I thought that would be cool.

I wrote a song this morning. It just kind of fell together. Anyways, you can hear it. Let me know what you think, alright.

I suggest headphones, also, as it seems to sound better.

what would you say.mp3
anyway
if the sky suddenly
broke away
and the sun never shown
again

can you tell me
just what you’d do then

what would you do
if the sky suddenly broke free
and the planets all went went there ways
and the sun would never shine again

what would you do?

More things to not forget:

1. don't forget to fly kites. don't forget how fun it is to fly a kite.

2. make sure that you are noticed during that brief second while passing people in your car. singing along to your favorite tune is the best way to assure that you are being cool.

3. don't forget that the world isn't going to explode, leaving us to freefall through outer space with no food to eat. oh my god that would be a nasty fate.

4. lock the door. the door. keep it locked. lock it lock it lock it.

5. if you dislike someone, and especially if this person is of a different ethnicity or gender, be extra kind to them because oh my god, what a horrible thing it is to dislike someone. especially if they are the minority. oh my god.

6. have a bible. you don't have to read it, just have it.

7. be kind to your neighbors because borrowing a cup of sugar is a real problem, and one day you may need help.

8. i will end this nonsense now. thanks. sorry you had to read all that.