do yourself a favor, go here and listen to his song.

So, I'm sitting at a bus stop on fifth today. My head phones are on and I am doing some hardcore rocking out to the violent femmes, inside my head of course. At the adjacent bus stop a man with a red striped shirt and a black baseball cap was smoking out of a tobacco pipe and shaking his ass, big time. He too had head phones on. The strange thing was he was dancing exactly to the beat of the song I was listening too. He stopped at slow parts and sped up during the fast ones. Fucking weird. He was doing all kinds of crazy moves, spins mixed with a head bob and a leg lift, headbanging mixed with flailing arms. Who knows.

The day was half over before I even realized it was valentines day. I really need a girlfriend. Girls are wonderful at remembering days like this.

I can taste it, the air I mean. It is like a summer day in a field of flowers, laying down with the dandylions brushing my cheeks and a soft breeze that I can feel as it whisps through my ears. The sun is perched on a lone cloud that, in itself, is an everchanging form that I can twist and bend and mold to anything I desire. Today it will be a weeping willow, the sun just barely showing through its soft branches. I can hear laughter in the background, and I close my eyes. A surreal, tranquil bliss overpowers my own invading thoughts. Laying on my back with my chest toward the sky and my toes engulfed in flowers. Simplicity in its finest hour.

“hey you.” My eyes open and I close them again. “Hey, you.” Eyelids crackings once more, I see a silhouette of a girl. She is a soft white luminescent angel, with blond hair and comforting blue eyes. Laying down beside me I open my eyes, raise my head from the desk where heaven had just rested. I get up. And I walk out of class.

Her hair was auburn, a hint of blond. Her denim coat was wrapped around her, worn and faded it clung to her as if she was the only thing it had left. I, sitting on the park bench, watched her walk by and stop. She pulled a flower from a flower pot next to me and walked away. Clearly homeless, she still found something of value, of worth, of beauty. I got up to walk away, looking back to make sure I hadn’t left anything behind, my heart perhaps.

Walking down the grey and lifeless streets today I felt absolutely horrible. The sky, with its neverending shade of grey, was at any second going to swallow me up, I just knew it. My feet carried me along my path of disgust, although I didn’t tell them to. What I wanted to do was find and alley, crawl to the back of it, and sulk in my own misery. The day itself has been a nightmare with its maze of angst with no end. It’s like I’m walking around with a mirror held to my face, with no defense I am forced to see every flaw and everything I hate and everything I deny.

What I want to do is walk outside and scream. I just know there would be more then one scream. It would be like a group of cult followers gathering for a mass genocide, only they realize there mistake after they have gone too far. And as they die they scream. They scream at god and at themselves and at the lies that they believe is truth. They scream because they have made a fatal mistake, one that they had longed for, but now, in new light, there faith is translucent and full ignorance. And so they die. There piercing screams the only thing left, the only reminder that they even existed.

I just wish everything would go away sometimes.

I posted a song earlier today but I didn't like it very much. So I completely redid it.

It is quite depressing though, I may warn. It has a deep meaning for me, which is my own. I only hope you can find a meaning for yourself.
it's called abandonned cars and stolen stars
It's a quiet one, so you'll have to turn up your speakers. comments, please?

Alright. In the spirit of new experiences I have decided, after much bashing of my head, to do something that scares the crap out of me. As some of you know, I play guitar. And as no one knows, I have written a few songs, lyrics and all. I have never sang for anyone. I am going to show you one of my songs. One that I wrote last night. Most of the lyrics were written at a bus stop, some were written while buying groceries at frey meyer. Regardless, I have been listening to a lot of elliot smith, belle and sabastian, and kings of convenience lately so I think that some of the influence shows through. Everything is completely my own though. So don't steal it. If you download it there is one think that I ask, and require, that you leave a comment or email me and tell me your thoughts on it. If you don't like it, thats fine, tell me you don't like it. 'tis that simple my friend.

I am a lover of music. Singing is my weak point, my main interest is guitar. But when there is no singer, and there is a song in my head, my faulty singing will have to work. My voice works, but it just doesn't make my songs sound the way they do in my head.

Oh yea, and I recorded it with my computers built in mic, so the quality isn't wonderful.
lyrics:
Test of time.mp3
I cant hear a word that you say when you whisper in my ear
about your life and your death, all these things are so unclear

(2)walking down the street and all I see
are people walking by
and they're looking at me

tripping on my feet when I see you
opening my mind I reach my arm out for you

you stared at my hand, and I stared at your face
smooth and innocent I’m longing for you

Clocks are spinning knots in the corner by the microphone
That has no time, has no rhyme, will not pass the test of time
(repeat first verse)