Dude, 25 comments. Hell yea! Thanks guys. :)

Man, a week from now, I will have been permanently glued to the side of Shae for an hour or so. I can't wait until I go to Canada. I walk through the house chanting it. "I'm going to Canada! I'm going to Seattle! I'm going to Portland! I'm going to Canada! I'm going to Seattle! I'm going to Portland!" My roommate and my boyfriend probably want to shove live snakes up my ass.

I have so much to do before I go. I've been trying to keep track of it all in my Livejournal, though unfortunately I haven't been very productive. Since I don't work Monday morning, I definitely want to get some stuff done. I need to stop spending so much time online writing about this trip, and start actually getting ready to go.

Its not even 8am. I hate mornings. *HRMF!*

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS OR PERISH IN A LAKE OF FIRE!@#!

Dude I mean it -- if you don't answer these questions in the comments, Satan will come for you and you will perish in a lake of fire.

1. One of your parents needs a liver/heart/lung/insert miscellaneous organ transplant or s/he will die. Giving them this organ will debilitate you for the rest of your life in very unpleasant ways, do you give up the ability to live a healthy life so that your parent may live?

2. Whats your favorite kind of pizza?

3. Whats the first URL you type into your browser when you sit down at the computer?

4. What would you rather have: a cookie or a monkey?

5. Who's your daddy?

Still waiting for my dsl modem to arrive. Please excuse my extended absence. I'm in the computer lab at school once-again.

My new-found freedom is strange. Complete self reliance is something I have never experience until now, its bittersweet really. I miss my moms great homecooked meals, and the familiar comforts of a home, and the strong bonds of a tight family. But I do enjoy the freedom. During the day I drive in to the city, park my car and I wander aimlessly, stopping in at coffee shops and record stores (portlands record stores are heaven for me, I could spend days, literally days in them). I look at the sky, and the clouds passing by. I look at the people walking around, seeing how their days troubles and joys have reflected to their exterior. I watch the buses and the trains travelling by, lone travellers staring out the window with heads full of dreams.

I have been here a little over two weeks and I have already seen three different indie bands. Each would be a treat to revel over for years in the town where I came from. I went to the meow meow last friday night, a nice under-21 venue. The headliners were Proudentall, Benton Falls was the opening act. Both indie. Both were great. The music scene in this city is quite nice, I just wish I was over 21. The majority of venues are 21+, which exludes myself, and countless other music lovers as well.

I have been trying to quit smoking. My god, I swear everyone in this city smokes. It's hard, really hard. I picked up some nicoderm cq last week and have been cigarette free for 5 days now, but I am unsure of the strength of my will. Everytime I see a smoker it takes all my strength to deny myself. So, I stick on another patch and hope I can continue to make-due without a cigarette for another day.

But, anyways. I better go. As soon as I get my modem I will be back. Until then I am hoping that my lovely and awe-inspiring fill-in writers will not lose interest. I love you guys.

I'm having a hard time saying goodbye to the old friend from last entry. I'm only writing this here because I don't think he reads, and I'm pretty sure he reads my journal.

He was such a big part of my life for such a long time, and although we don't talk anymore, he still is. He shaped so much of who I am, that its almost as if I am partially him, inseperable from his very being. I'm not still in love with him, I haven't been in love with him for a long time, but I do still love him. I told him I don't read his journal, and I never comment, but I read everyday. So much of me wants to be able to take his pain away, but I know I can't -- I tried for three years and was unsuccessful. His problems are self-afflicted (I think this is a trait I learnt from him) and every girl I know who's ever fallen for him has felt the same way as I have.

"He acts differently around me."
"I can help him."
"I can be the one for him."

I guess I got rid of that mindset a year or so ago, I'm just disappointed with the reality of the situation. I have no bearing in his life anymore. I don't factor in. I don't matter to him. Its lonely to once have been part of such an enormously grand thing, only to have it dissipate.

hello there.

sorry i haven't been updating but i've been reluctant to fill someone elses' shoes, but as a favour to josh we better keep rolling.

yesterday i bought the most amazing cd i have come across for a long time, it is called Strung Out On OK Computer and is basically Radiohead's OK Computer but played entirely by a string quartet. It was an import and the only copy they had in stock so i just had to buy it. and i'm not disappointed at all. i recommend you try and pick it up, it's brilliance, of course, draws from the original but there's a sort of novelty in hearing Paranoid Android in strains of violin.

one last thing.

JOSH GET BACK HERE.