today was a strange day to begin a large number of strange days.

Today was my last day of work. I shook about as many hands as one possibly can, I answered about as many questions as I possibly could, and I thought, a lot.

Its strange how, when you are working, your mind turns a million miles a minute. I think if I had some kind of recording device to record my thoughts, today would have been a record breaker. And, as I said good bye to my co-workers, I was not sad. Not at all.

I had my last snowball fight on-the-clock today, which I won in a landslide victory. Pummeling my friend friend levi with a barrage of snow, packed in to nicely-shaped round balls.

_ _ _

Adjacent to the building where I work is a gas station. As most of you know, I work at a car dealership. We often had to fill up vehicles that were sold, being taken for a test drive, or whatever. So I ended up going to that gas station at least 5 times a day. All of the employees knew me by name.

Some how, I haven't a clue how, they managed to find out that I was leaving my job, which means I won't be making my daily trips to their gas station. So, as a farewell gift, they made me a huge plate of cookies. And, ohmygod they were good. Sugar cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter cookies. These people are saints. They told me to come and visit them when I come up for my breaks. How nice is that?

_ _ _

In two hours I will begin my drive to Anchorage where I will be catching my flight. I will be gone for a week, so don't expect an updates till next monday or tuesday (I am not sure which day I am coming back).

So, take care. Make sure you wash between your toes and behind your ears. Don't eat too much chocolate. And, when you are changing lanes while driving, make sure you look over your shoulder! Blind spots are a bitch.

And while we stair at each other with placid expressions, searching for an icebreaker to an ancient tribal exlusion ritual. Grasping at anything that resembles peace or acceptance or even solitude. Ceiling fans spin above, like the slow and silent background noise of minds at work. Stairing at walls in hopes of being forgotten, blinking in hopes of not waking, the awkward silence isn't just a void of noise. It's a silent stalker, waiting to attack at the least suspected moment. While my words slur, and my thoughts jumble, my brain is still at work. The attempts are thrown out, lost vain triumphs.

just my thoughts of the moment. i will post more later.

It feels like reality is coming toward my like a freight train, and If I am not careful its gonna kick my ass. (well, a freight train would probably kill me, but you get the idea). Tomorrow I am hopping on a plane to portland to find an apartment. That way, when I drive down there, I will already have a place ready for me to move in.

Everything seems so out of place right now. Tomorrow is my last day at work, the same job I have had for over a year now. In three weeks I will be gone, and to be honest, it scares the crap out of me. I will be starting my schooling early january, where I will be forced to make new friends and aquaintances, a task I am not too fond of. I will have to find a job, and I won't have much time, as the money I have saved wont last too long.

I am just not sure how to feel right now. Its like this, mix a lot of excitement with a lot of apprehension and you've got my situation.

Songs that are in heavy rotation in my stereo:
the velvet underground - venus in furs
the dandy warhols - just try
grandaddy - jed's other poem (beautiful ground)
radiohead - true love waits
the beta band - dry the rain
red house painters - have you forgotten?
portished - wandering star
elliot smith - between the bars
badly drawn boy - body rap

what have you guys been listening too?