Sitting here looking at my computer screen, my windows covered by blankets, coldplay playing in the background. I wish I was doing something productive with my life, I really havent ever done that. I fucked off four years of highschool, sitting in the classrooms in which I had complete comprehension of the subjects taught yet I was so lazy I didnt do any work. Oh god, I wish I hadnt done that. I am trying very hard to get into college now, hopefully it will be the Art Institute of Portland. I only need to finish up my two entrance essays, get my letter of recommendation from Mr. Bartman- my old computer teacher, and mail off my application. If everything goes right I will be leaving in January. I really hope it works out right.
I am working at a car dealership detailing cars right now, I get up and go to work everyday fearing that I will turn out like the mindless idiots I work with. I work around a bunch of mechanics mainly, and I cant exactly say that it is the most intelligent environment. I walk through the shop several times per day hearing all of the conversation between the mechanics. I havent heard one conversation that did not consist of boasting about there fast car, or of a girl they'd like to screw.
I swear that place is going to drive me insane, I come home everyday completely drained. I wish that I could be in an environment with people that are a bit more three-dimensional, people with good taste in music, and people that don't feel that they need to put up a wall to fit in. I would love to sit down and have a nice conversation about new music, or maybe of a new book that is good, or maybe of a new website design that is cool. Instead I am forced to play a role I really don't like and really can not play very well. Most of the mechanics have learned that attempting to cary on a conversation with me about cars or woman really gets you no where, considering I could care less about cars and I don't really feel like talking about girls with a bunch of apes.
oh man, sorry about all that rambling